OUT AND PROUD: A STATEMENT OF PRIDE FROM JORDI KLIGMAN
June 2018 - Beautiful Bizarre Magazine
Photo provided by Jordi Kligman
"When I was in second grade my sister used to watch Degrassi and I was always like 'the men on here are so hot' but I felt weird about it because I always grew up with the idea of a man and a woman and being gay was a negative and weird thing. Being gay was different and strange and there were not a lot of gay people who I wanted to be like and looked up to. It was a strange thing.
BEING GAY WAS A NEGATIVE AND WEIRD THING AND I DIDN'T WANT TO BE THAT.
When I was in seventh grade I was friends with a lot of guys and I didn't want them to think I was coming on to them and treat me differently because I was gay. But, I didn't have the emotional understanding that I was gay. My mind wasn't accepting it. In eighth grade, I finally said out loud [to a friend] that a guy was hot. It was the prince in Into The Woods. That made me think that I could be attracted to men and not act on it.
I DIDN'T HAVE THE EMOTIONAL UNDERSTANDING THAT I WAS GAY. MY MIND WASN'T ACCEPTING IT.
Going into ninth grade I started saying that I didn't have a sexuality and that I was just a being. That was all of ninth grade. I didn't want people to think I was gay and I still thought I was attracted to women. Then, going into 10th grade I was telling people I was bi-sexual. I kept making it clear I was bi, not gay. As people became more understanding I realized that I could inch out more and more. Now being out, I'm more okay with myself. People understand more of who I am now.
NOW BEING OUT, I'M MORE OKAY WITH MYSELF. PEOPLE UNDERSTAND MORE OF WHO I AM.
To people who are still in the closet, outside the closet people will always be supportive and if they are not you can find people who are supportive. It's not as big of a deal as you think. Oh, and straight people, you should be glad you don't need pride okay?